A life partner is the most important person in our life because you choose them as the person you grow old with. You choose them for a lifetime, still a lot of marriages nowadays don’t work out well. They end up becoming the worst experience of your life, an experience that changes you as a whole. Just like a good partner can build you up and give you the best moment in life, a bad partner can make you experience hell on earth. As the divorce rate plunges to an all-time high, there are so many factors that contribute to the most common reason why marriages fail. Yes, it’s not just cheating; there are a lot more issues we overlook. And they accumulate into problems that can potentially end your marriage.
1. No Communication
The number one reason marriages fail is lack of communication. A Marriage is more than about love, it’s about a peaceful home, a sanctuary. The person you marry is the one you put all your trust in. If you don’t feel heard, seen and included in their life, you feel lost. The base of strong companionship is communication. This is one of the biggest reasons why marriages fail because a lot of people in marriage do not have strong communication with their partners.
2. Uncontrolled Anger issues
Uncontrolled anger is another of the main causes of divorce. Regardless of how much you love your partner, if you can’t control yourself in anger, you may end up hurting them and ultimately losing them. Your partner may forgive you once, everyone has their boundaries. They can’t withstand after a certain time, and you have anger issues.
3.Financial problem
Financial stability is an important consideration in marriage. Lack of transparency about financials is also one of the reasons why marriages fail nowadays. When things become unexpectedly terrible, and your family suffers because you never communicated about it to your partner, marriages often come to an end. If your partner understands your situation, they know your struggle, they may support you. Therefore, transparency about your financial condition is important.
4. Self-centeredness of partner
You have to be selfless, empathetic and compassionate towards your partner. When you are in a marriage, you can’t just think of yourself. Now, you are a family, and your future plans, growth plans, and struggles should be mutual. Self-centeredness can create a lot of trouble for you.
5. Infidelity/Extramarital affair
An extramarital affair is one of the biggest reasons why a lot of marriages come to an end. This is the red line for many people in a relationship. However, it is very difficult for people who have attachments to their partner and then their partner cheats on them, their hearts torn apart in pieces.
6. Inability to build a friendship bond
Many couples today are married, but they aren’t friends. Friendship makes every relationship a bit stronger because that’s the ultimate expression of care, trust and companionship. Marriage is a lifetime companionship; friendship makes it easier to navigate the difficult times. This is why many couples who live their life with superficial relationships and have a strong bonding often end the marriage because they don’t feel supported.
7. Only One person is Growing
One of the major issues faced by women who choose to become housewives. They end up feeling like they are not worthy. No one makes as many sacrifices as a mother does. Especially the mothers who forsake their careers and become a stay-at-home mom who feels like their lives have stopped. Not just a career, a woman who becomes a mother gets a significant change in her body. Every housewife has let go of the wonderful independent woman she could become if she pursued her dream career. After all the sacrifice, when their spouses begin to make them feel like they are nothing. This breaks their hearts, and constant feelings often make them put the marriage off.
8. Inability to Express love
Regardless of how much you love your partner, if you can’t express it, they can’t know it, and they can’t feel special. If they don’t feel special, they may feel like they are unloved. Your partner may suffer even if there is nothing wrong on your side; it’s just that you do not communicate. The inability to express love can make your partner feel unloved throughout the relationship.
9. Violence and Abuse
Physical Violence is a boundary line in many relationships; you have to control your anger. You have to set boundaries. Even in anger, you can’t have outbursts on your partner once you begin to abuse your partner physically; it’s a red line for many and one of the major reasons why marriages fail.
10. Intolerance for Each Other
Nobody is perfect; everyone has some bad habits and some good habits; it’s you who decides whether their goodness outweighs their negative traits or vice versa. On occasions, you have to show tolerance for each other; you can let go of this much about the person you love.
11. Suffocated and empty marriages
Unavailability has become the biggest problem in marriages at times. Often, people do not pay attention to quality time and communication, but it can birth to biggest problems in your marriage. A lot of people feel suffocated in an empty relationship where they are bound to be with their partner; there is no emotional connection between them, which weakens their relationship.
12. Absence of Love
Love and support matter a lot in a marriage. You marry the person who you choose to grow old with. When you are weak and tired, you have to have a person who can empathize with you, understand your handicaps, and become your support, which is intrinsically possible when a person loves you.
13. Lack of Shared Goals
In modern society, family dynamics have changed; every individual wants personal and professional growth in life. They have goals that they can’t sacrifice for marriage. When two partners have different goals in life, they may end up feeling lost after some time, this is one of the reasons why even two successful people end up separating because their approach towards life doesn’t match.
14. Life Altering Events
Life-altering moments show the true colors of people in your life. Sometimes, even the persons you think are your loved ones turn their back on you in difficult times, such as unemployment, chronic illness, having no kids, and many more. Many happy couples end up divorcing instead of navigating through the difficult situation and becoming each other’s support. This is also one of the reasons why marriages fail.
15. Change in Priorities
Change in priorities often becomes the biggest reason why marriages fail when other people’s involvement in your life is to the extent that your partner feels abandoned. There, you have to set boundaries and priorities in your life for a successful marriage.
16. You have an All-consuming Hobby
Having a hobby is fine, instead of a healthy practice in a marriage relationship. But if that hobby is consuming all your time, and you have no time for family or your partner. Your spouse may end up feeling lonely, unloved, and unimportant in your life, which becomes one of the reasons why marriages fail. Therefore, a balance between family and hobby and work is important for a healthy life.
17. Lack of Compassion and Understanding
If your spouse is unable to feel your pain and can’t understand your troubles, it can be an extremely heartbreaking and helpless feeling for you. Lack of compassion and understanding instigate unresolved fights and severe misunderstandings.
18. Marriage for ulterior motives
Marriages that take place for ulterior motives instead of a clear commitment to living together end once the motive is fulfilled. Because your partner never cares about you, it could be the status, money, or other ulterior motives that they wanted.
19. One-Sided Efforts Only
Even you genuinely love your partner with all your heart, but lacks at showing efforts to make you believe, it’s similar to not loving them. Your efforts to make them your priority matter a lot, and it reflects in your every act; you won’t have to go above and beyond to show effort.
20. Too Many Unrealistic Expectations
Communicating expectations is a crucial element whether it’s a marriage or relationship. Setting unrealistic expectations may put both of you in constant unhappiness. You have to decide whether this person is worth living with or not. If you stay in a marriage where both of you have unrealistic expectations from each other, you may remain in constant unhappiness.
21. Too Much Involvement of Outsiders
Too much involvement of outsiders in your relationship can create trouble in your marriage. Privacy is most important aspect in your relationship. If everyone is allowed to give you opinion about your personal life your relations get damage and this becomes one of the reasons why couples divorce after 25 years of marriage.
22. Too much possessiveness
Too much possessiveness may suffocate your partner. Because possessiveness leads to indirect control. In marriages where one partner is extremely possessive of another, refrain them from doing everything they don’t like. Your partner may feel lifeless and lost, it can this cause depression and end your marriage.
23. Distrust
Trust is the strongest pillar of a marriage. Marrying someone you can’t rely 100 percent with everything create troubles for both persons. Spouse should share a bond of trust, and mutual understanding.
24. Lack of Empathy
A lot of couples who are married for decades but they don’t share a bond of empathy. This causes extreme distress for your partner, who wishes for love and support in difficult times. Your partner is the person who knows your life from the very close; if they lack empathy, life becomes hell. In most cases this becomes one of the reasons why marriages fail.
25. Too Much Time on SNA
Spending too much time on social networking apps and interacting with people can create doubts and jealousy in your partner’s heart.
26. Difference in Opinions
Your opinions may vary, but still, it could be a healthy relationship, however, If your opinions vary to the extent that what’s wrong for you is considered right for your partner. It may become troublesome for both of you.
27. Difference in your approaches to live life
The difference in the idea of living a life becomes a major handicap for both partners. If your way of life doesn’t suit your partner, then you are bound to suffocate each other one day. The different approaches to living a life can become a reason for many to end their wedding.
28. It’s only An Attraction and Not Love
People confuse attraction for love. Love is passionate; it nurtures in different phases of life. If you feel like you are losing passion and start being attracted to another person, then you are not in love. You should avoid getting involved with another person when you are not sorted about your feelings.
29. Losing your yourself (your self-esteem, self-respect)
Nothing hurts more than losing yourself in a relationship. Many people suffer from silent behavior in relationships; they feel like they are giving a lot of love but aren’t receiving a similar amount. Which hurts their self-esteem, and they often feel their self-respect is doomed.
30. No respect for each other
Respect is a crucial element in marriage; many couples in today’s marriages may share mutual love but not respect. Respects are boundaries for some things that you will never say and some things that you will never do, regardless of how upset you are or how difficult the situation is.
31. Substance Abuse
If you have fallen for substance addiction, then you don’t just make life difficult for you but also for your loved ones. In today’s society, substance abuse has become one of the major reasons why marriages fail.
32. Divisions of Attention
Even though you love your partner, if your attention is divided into many things, and your priorities are not sorted. Somehow, you are taking the availability of your partner for granted and they do not feel valued and worthy in a marriage. It becomes one of the reasons why couples divorce even after 25 years of marriage.
Conclusions
This blog shares 32 overlooked reasons why marriages fail in today’s era. Marriage is becoming an anxiety for many married people and even those who are unmarried. Our perception of marriage is becoming negative, and these are some of the reasons why marriage fails for many and becomes a reason for depression for many. Learn more about the reasons for failed marriages and how to overcome the toxic marriage trauma with author Mark Schenkman, in his upcoming book, “The Reunification Plan”.
Learn more :
5 Effective Strategies for Healing from a Toxic Relationship
What is Trauma Bonding in Relationships | Identify & Recover